Fearing the unknown isn’t new to me. There is so much going right that I’m gettin afraid that something bad will occur. Not sure if this is normal but its almost like a routine. A way for myself to stay grounded and not get so comfortable. There are times I even daydream of scenarios, sometimes bad ones… so that I can prepare my heart and mind for the worst. I’m not sure if this method even works but I always find myself drifting off in thoughts…. in insecurities I have no reason to even have.

I think my past has made me a worrier, a person that’s afraid of all the possible “what if’s”. For example… what if he cheats (I must b strong enough to walk away), what if we don’t work (how bad will that hurt me), what if he gets in an accident while on that bike (I would probably crumble), will he hurt me one day? Will a Future together be positive…?

I almost wish I could see the future, so my fear would subside and I could be 100 percent secure. Is my reoccuring fear gonna scare me out of a good thing?

On pins n needles,
Kayotic konfessions

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