"Content with Just Us"

 

Bitter to the very end

is how most define us… SINGLE MOTHERS, we’ll us “SINGLE PARENTS“.

(There are a few men out there who raise their kids alone…  🙂 )

 

I’m amused when outsiders looking into my life believe me to be bitter towards the absent party. Yes, I have and may still at any moment rant or rave but I do not flat-out disrespect him by any means. Without him I wouldn’t have my child and for that I am grateful. I don’t overdo what might need to be said to get my point across because there is no need to dispute the obvious. He’s not around nor in the picture. Regardless of the facts, I do not tell my child her father is “this or that” and I refuse to tell my child her father doesn’t love her. For that action would hurt her more than it could ever hurt him and intentionally hurting my baby is not acceptable. Instead, I barely mention his name or anything about him unless she asks (which she doesn’t; so cool). I am not bitter by far.

In the beginning thou,…

OH HELL YEAH!!! lls Bitter was my middle name. I couldn’t stand him, always ALWAYS used the words “I HATE HIM”, but only because I Loved him. However, we could not be; I knew this and he made it terribly clear. I eventually grew to even become the crazy and deranged BABY MOMMA lls. (yes I know shame on me but hey, My heart was on the rocks). I was letting out emotions I didn’t know how to handle. I had seen a dream and that’s what I had wanted at the time; A family. I wanted some help, I needed some of the pressure off of just me and I wasn’t getting neither. I still was young and I was forced to become tied down to a baby. Forced to take on responsibilities I never wanted nor asked for. While he had no obligations, no responsibilities, no restrictions… YOU DAMN RIGHT I WAS BITTER LLS. He partied and stunted while I learned how to become a mom. I probably should Thank him for that.

I waited for that “single parent” role to change and as I waited… “I CHANGED”. I grew up and BECAME A DAMN MOM; alone!! I try my hardest to withhold my laugh nowadays when people refer to us “single women” as BITTER! After 3 yrs with no help and ENDLESS disappointments, I can PROUDLY say “I AM NOT BITTER” ;-). Why that time has made me patient and “SELFISH” LLS. Yeah… I said it “SELFISH”. I used to cry about how the absent parent would miss all the good times; miss out on the memories. I even stopped depending on the help and just looked for to the time they spent together in an attempt to smooth over the disappointment. In the beginning, despite my ill ad bitter feelings I would never tell the absent party he could not see his child (I thought that was wrong on so many levels).  However, I eventually outgrew that as well without ever having to say actually say “NO, you can’t see her” because he NEVER asked! NEVER!!!! I ain’t mad by far. lol

I BECAME SELFISH!!!

{{I}} DONT NEED THE FAMILY IMAGE with the ABSENT party (that’s a dead dream). [[WE]] don’t need someone who doesn’t make the effort. AND NO IM NOT WILLING TO SHARE ANY OF MY PRECIOUS MEMORIES!!! If the person wasn’t consistently there from day 1, why bestow that disappointment on a child. I WILL NOT!!!


“I may have started out Bitter in the beginning but at the end… that’s no longer the case”

When the man steps up to be around, he’ll notice nothing on my part was ever stopping him. “I’m just saying lls”

-Kayoitc Konfessions

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